This post previously appeared on my wordpress.com blog Concentrated Ramblings
When I was much younger than I am now my dad was showing me a picture
of his father. Taken in the man’s later years his hair was thick around
the the sides of his head and thin on the top. I don’t know why he
thought it was a good idea but the telltale lines of a comb-over were
evident even in the faded photo. Between chuckles dad told me that
baldness skips a generation, pointing to his own thinning, but still
very much there, hair. With foreboding he pointed a finger at me and
declared “it will happen to you”. I scoffed at his warnings and
dismissed it as the ramblings of someone who had drunk a few too many
Victoria Bitters, but his dire prediction for my future never left my
head.
Fast-forward five years.
I have just come back from Big W after purchasing a pair of Phillips
hair clippers. I am standing in front of the mirror looking at my hair. I
was 23 and my hair was still a rich brown colour thick and vibrant…on
the sides and back. Ladies and gentlemen: I was entering the Horseshoe
Phase. After much heavy breathing and fear I turned on the clippers and
began what would soon become a weekly ritual. 20 long minutes later the
bathroom sink had a coat of my recently shaved hair.I remember being
struck by not only how much of it there actually was, but by how shiny
it looked. As I was looking in the mirror admiring my new look I
realised I had put too much emotion into the moment. Perhaps it was
because I was literally taking my hair into my own hands but instead of
feeling impotent I felt energised, like I was taking my life into my own
hands. When I showed my dad my new (and continued) hairstyle he was
horrified, saying that he was only joking about his past comments. I’m
guessing he felt like he had cursed me.
A lot of stock is put into men and their hair. Society views bald men
as lacking in virility and being impotent in more than one way. Before I
started shaving I was concerned about how I would look without my hair.
Alec Baldwin famously said in 30 Rock “your hair is your
headsuit”, after a few months of shaving I looked at past photos of
myself differently. Since shaving my hair I always look at my hair in
the pictures and hated what I saw. I didn’t know what I wanted to do
with it. It was an annoyance that didn’t do me any favours. Nowadays
people actually compliment me on the shape of my head, saying that it is
a good shape. It seems I was destined to go bald and look good while
doing so. Worse accidents have happened.
As good as the unintended side-effects are the rate at which I am
losing my hair is depressing, It is a sick joke that the baldness starts
in the most noticeable place and then doesn’t seem to spread. I have
seen desperate individuals attempt the comb over or have done nothing
with it. I can safely say in both instances it is better to shave.
Besides the emotional boost you get from self-maintenance and
independence you look cleaner and more streamlined as well as the
financial gains; never again will I be burdened by overpriced haircuts
to cover my scraps or be forced into making a choice in which shampoo to
buy. Having lost something I have gained freedom.
Going bald is not the worst thing to have happened. The way I see it
it is a transition into the next stage of my life. In video game terms I
am leveling up. Do not fear going bald embrace it. When you do you will
gain more confidence and be happier than you were before. People will
see this confidence and be inspired by it. What do you have to lose?
Til next time.
Sputnick
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